The Gift Of Loneliness

It kind of seems like a paradox doesn’t it? How can loneliness be a gift?

Sorry guys I haven’t written a blog post in so long, life has been crazy busy (but in a good way 🙂 )

About 2 years ago I started meditating. At first it seemed like a complete waste of time. I thought “why would I sit in complete silence for 10 minutes when I could be making dinner or out exercising”??

I’ll admit after 30 days of meditating my life fell completely apart. My friendships started cracking, I lost touch with my friends, my job became more stressful, my relationship was hanging on by a thread. Everything that I valued in my life was being ripped out from underneath me.  I thought : here I am trying to make things better by meditating and then all hell breaks loose. It was hard for about 3 months- so much uncertainty, so much fear about what was happening.

I didn’t understand why all this was going on at the time but now I can see the bigger picture. Now I understand the saying “It always gets worse before it gets better”.

For years I had always looked to others for my happiness. I had always based my self worth on what relationship I was in, my friends, my job, having nice clothes…all things that I soon realized could be taken away from me at the drop of a hat.  My relationship fell apart, the person I loved more than anything- suddenly didn’t seem like Prince Charming anymore. I found it hard to be around him. We started fighting, and eventually ended things. It was devastating to me. But now I can see the bigger picture.

When you meditate, exercise, eat right it changes the energetic make up of your body. It raises your vibration/frequency. So if your hanging out with people who aren’t at the same frequency, the meditation shifts those people away from you. If you’re at a dead end job it makes it difficult for you so you eventually quit and change your path. When you go through these sudden endings it’s complete hell, but trust me it’s worth it. Because once you get off the wrong path you can find a new one.

For about 6 months after I started meditating I was really lonely. I felt like I had no one. But eventually I learned how to be comfortable by myself.  I realized the gift of loneliness. I learned how to be happy with no one else around.  I would go out on a walk and just sit by myself for hours with my dog. And I began to see that I didn’t need anyone, I didn’t need the materialistic stuff or the empty relationships.

To me it was a gift. The loneliness was a blessing in disguise because I got to get in touch with who I was instead of putting all my focus on others.  Now instead of needing others in my life I just trust that God will bring the right ones to me. I don’t worry if people like me or approve of how I live my life anymore, and it’s the biggest relief. The biggest freedom is living life on my own terms.

I am a constant work in progress. Everyday I am working on the goals I set for myself. Some days are easy and some still challenge me. If I could tell anyone one thing it would be to be compassionate with yourself. Give yourself the time to change, it doesn’t happen overnight but slowly you will see the difference. Make yourself a priority- start eating right, exercise, meditate.

When you can sit in complete silence by yourself and be at peace that is when you will know the change has occurred.

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