Happy New Years guys! 2014 was a roller coaster ride (but isn’t every year? 🙂 )
2014 was tough for me, but also the beginning of something great.
As far as my career goes, it was somewhat of a challenging year. I know I am not doing the type of work I should be. But I am a person who is so resistant to change, so I stayed at a job that was less than fulfilling. Well about mid way through 2014 I experienced resistance in every form at work. My boss was all of the sudden being a complete asshole, I felt so much pressure to get more done, I really was pushed to the breaking point. I just felt so distant from coworkers and everyone there. As much as I was frustrated , I really think everything happens for a reason. In this case I think it was my angels saying get back on track with your life! Do something that makes you happy and fulfills your life purpose instead of wasting your time.
So in November I decided to reduce my hours, I needed to focus more on me. I needed to get away from the negative energy at work because every time i set foot in that place I could feel my mood go to shit. Everyone around me thought I was crazy, they all gave me a hard time because I was giving up good money, a secure job…but I just for once had to follow my own intuition. I had to do this for me. And although it made everyone else upset, I knew in my heart I made the right decision.
I needed to step away from the material aspects of life because they were making me lose who I was. This leads into my next point…
In 2015 I want to work on my relationship with God. Now I know I will lose about 75% of the readers right here 🙂 But I want to focus more on my faith. The truth is I haven’t been inside a church in 3 years. Not even on Christmas because I thought the whole idea of organized religion was not for me. I still think this, but someone told me that man made religion is not God. God is not discriminatory, he will accept you even with all your faults and mistakes.
I thought there’s no way God will ever accept me back. I have made mistakes that go against Christianity, but when I went to talk to someone in the church about it, they said God is all forgiving. So although it is a work in progress I hope to work on my faith. It’s not an easy process because like I said i’m far from perfect.
So I guess this year relationships will take a back seat for me. I was with someone on and off for 5 years, but this person brought me farther away from my true self. I’ll be honest it’s hard to see all my friends getting engaged and having babies. It’s hard to see them have what I wanted. But I think right now none of that is in my cards. First I need to work on the relationship I have with myself before any of that will improve.
Now ending my on again off again relationship was probably the hardest thing to do. Not because I necessarily loved this person, but because it was comfortable. It was a security blanket for me. In the back of my mind I was like if I don’t meet anyone in the next 5 years, we could get married. But how is that fair to either of us? To settle shouldn’t be an option . I am getting better at this alone thing. There’s some days I wish I had more friends who could relate but maybe I need to learn how to be happy alone before anything gets better.
So in 2014 I reevaluated my career, my relationships fell apart, I feel more alone than ever…but the silver lining is I believe this is the start of something amazing.
Whatever troubles or setbacks you faced in 2014, just keep the faith that better times lie ahead…maybe not right away but eventually we will all get there 🙂
All the best for 2015 guys 🙂